Eish, Aint that a Snitch?!?!

Why Spend Mine, When I can spend yours??

2010-03-15T19:56:00.001+11:00

Ha!! I'm telling u the truth. I know my stories sound a lil exaggerated but they are true in their purest form.

The Snitches this side are bad!! They actually just want to spend someone elses money for their own benefit!! Can u believe that? Its Ludicrous!!

My gash!! Literally, they cant see the man behind the money, all they see is the money and they lay claim to it like its theirs. And I do not feel sorry for us those victims of these conniving snitches. Truly, a fool and his money soon part. It is written.

So, even tho I dont like Gay-Z, he said something profound.
"yea, yea, yea yeah
Save the narrative, like you savin it for marriage
Lets keep it real ma' you savin it for cabbage
You wanna see how far I'ma go
how much I'ma spend, but you already now
zip, zero stingy with dinero"

They saving it for cabbage.. Damn hoes!! They want u to pay b4 u hit!! I'm telling u, if that's not the age old profession of prostitution, then I dunno what is. I'm telling you... this is some deep SNITCH!! I mean, we work hard for our money eske!! And these snitches dont wanna work a day in their life for any1 else but themselves and yet wanna spend someone elses hard-earned!?!? NomSoms!!

And then they say if u want this u gotta pay for it, as if they worked to get that voov.. Damn, they were born with it just like we were born packing D to the I!! Seeeees!!

Well, the most I'll buy a deij is food.. So that we eat it there.. No take-aways.. Till she proves herself. Before the lovebirds can move to the suburbs I need to double check her story, to make sure that shes one of a kind and she deserves to be my sunshine, what!

**thought we was dead and gone, but ur dead wrong!! WATCH OUT SNIIIIITCHES.. I'm BAAAAAK!!

SNITCHOLOGY

2008-08-20T02:38:00.002+10:00

First and foremost thank you for the invite. This is a little lecture on SNITCHOLOGY...we will be delving into the mind set of a SNITCH. Now you may wonder why one would chose to study this paticular subject or even write about it. It is quite simple really. It has come to my attention that the Season of the Snitch has crept up on us....in the only way a Snitch Season can by being sneaky. You see when a Snitch goes quiet for a minute you think its retired. Thats where you would be WRONG. Snitches are like bears they never retire they merely hibernate but of course thats all they have in common with bears. If I was to liken a SNITCH to animal I would say that animals like heyenas and vultures would be appropriate. Snitches do not hunt, that would require work...Snitches feast on whatever is wounded or looks incapacitated. Now you may wonder why I am so riled up about this topic to the point of animosty. Well.....I encountered a SNITCH. Not any old Snitch mind you but a hibernating Snitch. A hibernating Snitch is the worse kind because they are hungry for anything. This paticular Snitchette is of a devious nature because she reeled this blogger in with her claims of being a woman grown and a woman who was honest. Now you see when a Snitchette claims to be all these things you need to beware because if you can't see these things upon meeting up with her then she cleary does not possess the qualities she is harping on about and TRYING her darndest to convince you that she has got them. This paticular Snitchette has snitched me up royally if Iwas not her victim I would be applauding her timing, her oscar skills and her sheer confidence can be matched with. This SNITCHETTE asks me to pass on information. I do so. The information unbeknowst to me is inflammatory and is causing heart palpitations for people under 25. Then when she gets called on her Snitching ways she CLAIMS she never said anything. See how a snitchette does? Like a cockroach.... she scampers when the lights get switched on! This blogger is tired and she is not going to take this one for the good of the team... SNITCHETTE....walk with a friend is all I have to say.....

Snitch, where your manners at?

2007-06-05T08:21:00.000+10:00

Hark, who goes there... it is I teh Spoons.

Wow hombres, seems like forever since i've scribed anything on these virtual pages; it wouldn't be far from the truth if i said eversince the Don Lidzi left, i been lacking inspiration in the snitchin department like a monk on valentines day...

But whether we snitch these items or not, at the end of the day a snitch is a snitch, and a snitch aint worth jack but vexation of heart. Snitches don't need the Incredible Spoons to exist.

So you start profiling with a young womens, and this womens is nice, courteous, polite and all to you, but after sometime your snitching senses start tingling and u realise, that this womens is the complete opposite to your peoples, especially to your friends that be of the same gender as she is... in the words of Mr T, "i pity the fool", coz hombres thats a major snitch!!! But y'all know me, ain't no snitch gonna Wesley Snipe me!!!!

We dun said it a million times here at www.snitchin.blogspot.com, don't let a snitch come between your friendships, coz snitches come and go, but friendships can last for a lifetime homies. Perhaps its insecurity on the snitches behalf, or possessiveness or maybe just plain bad manners; u know some peoples never act right unless theres something in it for them.

I knew "somebody" who knew a womens that ignored his friends:

Well meaning friend: Hello womens
Snitching womens: rolls eyes, and continues with her business
Well meaning friend:*hurt* lol

Need i say more? you all know what to do in situations like this...

Two Spoons

signing out.

Dont let a Snitch come between a Friendship

2007-01-31T15:24:00.000+11:00

Eiiiiish.. Aint that a Snitch all the way from Africa…

Peoples.. Listen up. Don’t you EVER let a snitch come between a friendship. Once upon a time I had a connection, and it was good.. a few years later, much to my misery I acquired a snitch. The drama is, this snitch wanted my connekie.

Next thing you know, she tells my friend that she done broke up with me, and he proceeds to fall for the snitch.. She was tight, but I cant deny the fact that she was a snitch. Anyways, she goes and gets preg and all (most of y’all know the story).

But here’s the funny part. I wanted to ease the tension of the situation and bury the beef with my friend of 20yrs.. Snitch goes on and says that I shouldn’t otherwise it’ll wound her relationship.. WHAT NERVE!! Damn, she comes in and ruins a friendship and now don’t want me to be reconciled with my brother, my soldier of the same struggle. Daaaamn, aint that a snitch? Aint she a snitch!!?!?!

Ahhhhh, I was touched. This was snitchery at its peak. That’s when I knew that I’ll never associate with that snitch ever again..

I'll be back with more snitches from Bots in time to come.. That place has some amusing dramaz jo!

In God we trust
Capt. L. Gunnz of the CSUThe Don, In Harare

Leeches

2006-11-26T02:02:00.000+11:00

Ah yes, this post, is entirely dedicated to leeches. You know, those species of snitch that look like innocent slugs, but once they latch on, they don’t let go…?

I have had the displeasure of getting myself acquainted with some leeches and unfortunately letting them attach themselves to me. HUGE mistake that was… but I take it as a learning point. They wind themselves and their lives around you like a serpent and suffocate the breath out of you till you can’t move and eventually just faint and stay right where they want you to stay: in front of their eyes.

What is it about this species of snitch who can’t seem to trust you to handle your business? The constant ringing of the phone (mobile and home phone), first question when you do finally pick up (on the 13th ring) is usually, “So where are you?” Followed almost immediately with, “with whom, what are you doing there and when are you going home?” Eish…. Please let a sister breathe!

Is this phenomenon (if I may call it such) caused by past bad experiences by snitches? Even if it is, is it fair to treat the rest of us this way? Of course, such snitches don’t exist in the form of those with a Y-chromosome only, those of us who can multi-task do it too (yes, that means you missy!).

A girl needs some space to do all the girly things that we do (don’t we girls?). If we wanted a man who doesn’t have his own life, we’d have gotten a puppy, or rather a kitten (I really hate dogs…). And of course, this goes in vice versa, but I’m guessing men would rather get a car or boat…?

Do these snitches have an issue with trust maybe? How do you deal with such snitches?

The best way, of course is to sit and talk frankly about said snitchin’ behaviour (and please girls, don’t drop hints… didn’t Captain Gunnz tell you it won’t work? Just come right out and say it!). Usually I’ll just ignore them but, I must warn you, this is not advisable for any of you out there who are not capable of being a cold-hearted b*tch when the occasion rises, but if you are capable of it, try it (at the risk of losing said snitch of course, but hey, freedom never tasted so good). Of course, you could always try constantly reassuring the snitch (or boyfriend/girlfriend if you prefer to call him/her such a name), but be sure to tell me if you get tired of it after the 50th time you do this and he/she is still ringing the phones off the hook... I can then tell you: I told ya so!

Now, ain’t that a snitch???

You Cant Win

2006-11-24T23:04:00.000+11:00

It is I, the Great Capt. Gunnz Blazing this blog once again!! Ha! In my life, I endeavour to be the 1st man to win against this forthcoming snitch.

The snitch is 'you cant win against a snitch'! I'm talking about lying snitches!!! Okay, lemme be the 1st to admit that most men lie to women. True dat, coz most men want what they want plain and easy. And women know this BUT century after century they live in this this fantasy whereby they insist on being lied to, being told candy coated nonsenses so that they eventually give in to that guy who's been lying to her only coz she wanted to hear it.

I mean, all women know what those men want from them, but they never wanna hear the plain truth. Anyways, that's beside the point.

The point is: Snitches dont lie to me, they lie to themselves!!! Danger like Mystikal! How are you gonna have an accurate debate/argument against someone who's gonna lie to themselves? That's the question!!! Dammmn..

Thanks to this unique ability, snitches can tell themselves something enough times that it becomes the truth in their mind. Weeks later they decided to spring it on you (in a loud, screeching voice) and they honestly believe what they're saying. And there u are, stuck in a daze wondering what the hell is happening and ur there stuck for what to say at sheer and utter shock of the highly inaccurate accusations being put forth.

And then u try.. U try to say something, but a Snitch always seems to remember the 'facts' betta than u do. And if by some sheer miracle you manage to back ur side of the story up, or perhaps there's an objective witness in the room to verify ur account, a snitch changes the issue midstream. Eish.. now aint that a snitch?!?!?

Anyways, at this point a man like me would resign and decide that I got betta things to do than argue with a snitch. Eish.. this approach also brings more volume. There shall come a time that I will silence a snitch.. just by being a Captain! How about that?!

Well, I'm out!

Sailing the Storm and Storming the Sail

Capt. Lidzi Gunnz, BLAZIN!!!

A snitchin affair.

2006-11-17T19:53:00.000+11:00

Recently we at www.snitchin.blogspot.com were fortunate enough as to be invited to Radiah's Birthday bbq. No diggity, no doubt it was coming thru affair and i teh Spoons got to meet a few peoples from this wonderful blog item in person...(lemme catch my breath). However, not all went smoothly for teh Spoons; the underdog himself and leader of the newskool. I tried conducting an interview with Muda but as u will see this backfired terribly...

u gotta oops up side your head to watch this one.

Yes dear citizens i am still nursing the wounds.

Next Captian Gunnz himself tried to redeem the situation by interviewing me, but as u know snitches are never far from the good guys, and our interview was rudely interrupted. Complaints: 1. the camera itself was being a snitch and making me out to me more pitch black than i am (yes i know, near impossible). 2. we seemed to reach the same conclusion as the Muda interview

u gotta turn on ur night vision to peep this item.

It seems teh general concensus is that Le Spoons is a snitch! I still maintain i am a victim of circumstance.

P.S: Radiah, thnx for the bbq girl.

Can a Snitch get a hint?

2006-11-16T08:26:00.000+11:00

Yes readers, it is I, the Captain with a bit of edumacation for all the young ones out thurr. This is so you're not shocked or taken aback once u consolidate that acquisition and find out things just aint the way u had imagined. Once must perceive the Force~~!!

There was a movie about A Game Ranger (not as game-ranger as DoubleUp puts it - no, the real type of Game Ranger) and along with his wife they raised an orphaned lion cub. And as it grew up, they released it to the wild where it belongs. It's at this moment that we look over to our feminine counterparts and notice how they sob because its so touching to let something you love get away like that.

And here comes the irony - the snitch. Many actually spend their lives doing the opposite with the dudes they consolidate. If u love something, set it free only applies to butterflies and doves in their case.

It seems that they are intent on setting up a new regime when they consolidate that acquisition. 'Capturing' the man, and tryna 'domesticate' him. Using positive and negatives to govern their dictatorship! The promise of bliss contrasted with the endless nagging.

But the greatest one is Passive-Aggresiveness. As if it was innate, passed down each generation. Here's how it works: They dont come out and say what they want (like a guy would), instead they drop hints and hope u are perceptive enuff to calculate what they want and issue it to them. Ija! A heinous, diabolical and perverted technique indeed. Fortunately, it doesn't work!! (on most me at least). YES! I wrote it so you have no excuse to say u didnt know!!! I'll put it in bold so u dont miss it. HINT DROPPING DOESNT WORK ON GUYS!!

And guys, fret not. We work upon the principle of the spoken word, so dont worry about them thinking ur not perceptive. In the court of law, hints dont hold up. Let ur word be ur bond. Accept nothing less than clear communication sans the hints.

Well, other women may be able to decode these 'hints'. And snitches will get upset coz u dont understand them or they'll think u dont care, but they still continue to implement this failed method of communication that has been tried for millenia, tested for millenia and FAILED for millenia. Where are the clever deijs that know not to implement a certified and completely hopeless method of communication [Big ups to the girls that oredi know this]!

With that, it's the return of the Captain!

Signing off,

Capt. Gunnz

Tribute

2006-11-08T11:17:00.000+11:00

Now the man above is No Snitch. This post is to pay tribute to the man accreditted for the glorious term "Snitch" as is used in this widely popular blog and our colloquial slang.

The man simply goes by the name of "Chax". Famed for his linguistic capability of being able to punctuate 90% of his language with colloquial slang and 10% English. How he does it? We dont know, but we are fans however. He is also responsible for remixing terms like "jides" into "deijs" pronounced "day-zhas". And also particularly popular for the famed statement, "SimbaGuy coming thru on the JC items". (Rough Translation: Simba, I really appreciate your faith in Jesus Christ).

Not long in his presence and you'll realise that Chax is passionate bout his distaste for snitches. One time or another, you'll hear him say, "Me I dont smaak for these deijs, sniiiiiiitch." (Rough Translation: I really dont like these girls who are snitches). I like the way he prolongs the vowel when he says sniiiiitch. It's just so the Chax way.

And Chax is known for his stern approach. As Spoonage would say, aint no snitch gonna Wesley Snipe Chax. Coz this man, he dont even give a snitch an inch. You can try calling him and invite him for dinner and a movie and if he dont know you, he'll tune u str8 up and down like 6 o'clock, "No!" and he wont budge, even if ur paying and you'll pick him up. He dont like them snitches who think that just coz they're girls they can just exert their will upon him and expect him to follow suit like some weak men out there. Not Chax! No, not Chax!

So, this is a tribute to the man named Chax. Thanks for inventing the modern use of the word Snitch!!!

Now datz Comin thru!!

The Worst Snitch of All!!!

2006-11-04T10:48:00.000+11:00

Guys I can’t believe that in the two months we’ve been operational hunting them snitches down but we haven’t dealt with the worst snitch of them all! The snitch that makes a total mockery of the Institute of Love! The snitch that wakes up and says, “How can I snitch HARD today?” My GASH! Just thinking of this snitch makes me weak because I’ve run into this type of snitch more than once! They are their own breed! The realest cause of insecurity in the Brothahood! The gold digger!

<>“18 years, 18 years

She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years

I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids

His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his

You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday

Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai

She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money

She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money

She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money

Should of got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey

If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup

WE WANT PRENUP!, Yeaah

It's something that you need to have

Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half

18 years, 18 years

And on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his”

Mr West understands the plight faces by many people these days. I say people because even these days males are gold diggers too! How can you decide to hook up with someone because of the supposed size of their wallets? It’s a snitch epidemic, a snitchedemic!

When guys make an acquisition they want to obviously share the good life with that acquisition. Take them out for dinner. Buying little romantic gifts just to show her that we care! But these days everyone has to watch their backs coz these snitching creatures come in various forms and are difficult to identify until it’s too late! Unlike normal vampires that get killed by sunlight, these ones are daywalkers! Crucifixes and garlic don’t work either!

Because of all that, guys now have to be cautious and judge what the chick is after, often killing the natural flow of things. I won’t lie that this type of snitch has made me more reserved in the way I go after a potential acquisition. Chicks say that chivalry and romance is dead, the only reason for that is because gold diggers are alive! I used to be the type of dude that would go buy flowers, take em to movies, buy candy and all that jazz until I ran into some chicks who were in it for the ice creams and stuff. I mean fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!!! I don’t want that to happen so I hold back in the beginning of a relationship or in the acquisition stage often being called unromantic, cold, straight up, etc!

How can someone honestly think they can find happiness not only in possessions but in someone else’s possessions? Please! That is just so shallow! In fact it’s the modern form of prostitution! Gold diggers, I’m asking y’all, you know who you are, please stop! NOW!

Why is life full of polar opposites? On one side we have the independent woman who needs nothing from a man, she can even hug herself. Then we have the gold diggers who want to suck out everything from the guy. All a guy is looking for is a good blend of the two, the Equator, coz both ends are too cold for a brother to live! As for the snitch! I’d rather you broke into my house while I was asleep and you took everything in my house than you coming into my life and draining not only what I own but my heart too! hehe…

Shy Guy

2006-11-03T12:09:00.000+11:00

As I was listening to Diana King’s “Shy Guy”, I suddenly thought I should put my pen to paper… or rather my fingers to my keyboard.

What is it about shy guys that just make you want to pull your hair out? Why don’t we give them a chance? Well, I did a little survey (totally informal mind you), and asked my fellow snitchettes what type of guy they do NOT like. Almost all of them said shy guys do not appeal to them. Why? Because they’re so SHY!

Hold up, hold up! What??? Urm… I suddenly felt vaguely like I was standing in the woods, with crickets rubbing their legs together.

Then came the elaboration,” If he likes me, why doesn’t he just ask me out?”

Maybe he’s SHY?

And while I was shaking my head, my friends justified their answer by saying,” It’s a vicious cycle.”

Come on now, if this is the case, why don’t girls make their move? I mean, are we still living in the 12th century when a woman chasing after men was just not done? We’re in the 21st century now aren’t we? I would think doing the chasing would be fun (please note that “chasing” excludes stalking...).

Seriously now, I, for one, love shy guys. *ahem*. They’re really sweet sometimes (okay, all the time...), and well, their awkwardness is really cute (and sweet and adorable and... well, you get the picture)… Okay Miss Muda, I can hear you rolling your eyes here… but they just make me melt.

But hey, I understand the frustration… patience is key, and a lot of talking to draw them out is needed. And here I thought communication is a two-way thing? Or was I wrong? When I think about how much I had to talk to draw these people out, I get thirsty, but I’d say it is definitely worth the effort.

Shy guys are so much better than the oh-my-gash-he-knows-exactly-what-to-say men. Not to say that the latter species of males are evil, just that I, for one, find a hint of insincerity in them. Of course, my views are not of the rest of the female species. Doesn’t matter… I’ll still be hunting them shy guys down like they’re deer in the woods. Kiss kiss Bang bang.

~Valedico~

breaking young girls hearts...

2006-11-02T14:36:00.000+11:00

Hark, who goes there? it is I teh Spoons.

So i was conversing with a dude i look up to in many respects when he uttered them timeless lines from MJ's Billie Jean "don't go around breaking young girls hearts", he was talkin in conjunction with himself, so i thought bout it for a minute and went bout my bidness. But as usual when the night began to creep in and my thoughts began to wonder, i pondered these lines even more carefull and thought... hmmm Spoons perhaps u r a snitch.

See my train of thought trekked its path all the way to Radiah's item on dudes always having more than one target, and how that makes chics feel, and to be honest, i seldom recall a time when i pursued a chick by her lonesome self. Everytime i have had a girl it was always after having to choose her from a few candidates, some of whom yes pursued me, and some of whom i myself initially pursued and stirred their interest.

Question, did i feel justified in my actions? Yes indeed i did, i speak as an individual... some guys mite not share the same sentiments. For me, dates are like interviews... theres a position to be filled, and there are candidates, u have to choose the best one, not only coz of her features, but one also enthusiasm about the job (basically how much is she feelin u), tis also like buying a house, u dont purchase the 1st house u see (unless u hearing Celestial voices telling u to do so), u no doubt inspect a few, suffering loss of time and money to get a thorough assessment, and then when u think u've found the one u take it from there...

the real snitch of the issue is most ladies would like to believe that they are the only ones, but unfortunately more times than not, your actions and character are being weighed against those of many potential females. Consider it a lil heads up by the Spoons and avoid the heartbreak, just coz a guy is interested in you, doesnt mean he "loves" you or that he has devoted his affections entirely to u, or that are the only woman with desirable qualities that he notices. Till the acquisition has been consolidated tis an open market...

So don't be all suprised when all of a sudden, dude ain't looking at u like u just stepped down from the heavens... perhaps thats just how men are, play hard to get if you want (coz easy come easy go), but in so doing know what u r doing.

A Great Snitch

2006-11-01T00:12:00.000+11:00

Now I, the Captain Gunnz, would like to address a question posed by Anon which has been agreed to be very valid.

Anon queried as to whether "when someone gets a new girl/boyfriend and ditches his/her old friends" counts as a snitch?

Well, this is a very very very interesting question. In my books I'll have to stand upon the affirmative. I consider such a great snitch. The Snitch of Neglect and Abandonment or in more colloquial terms, The Ditch Snitch aka Snitchin by Ditchin.

Let me consult the dictionary to support my already superb command of the English Language (among others) to further explain such a Great Snitch:

Neglect (n) defined:

Failure to look after someone or something properly because you do not care enough about them.
The condition of not being properly looked after.

Abandon (v) defined:
Abandonment (n)

To leave someone, especially someone you are responsible for
To go away from a place, vehicle etc. permanently, especially because the situation makes it impossible for you to stay.
To stop doing something because there are too many problems and it is impossible to continue.
To decide you no longer believe in a particular idea or principle.

So, here comes the idea war. Why does The Gunnz think that if a friend disappears after consolidating an acquisition is a snitch? Well, as always, it can be a vast array of possible scenarios or perhaps a combination of scenarios:

perhaps u just werent close enough friends
busyness of life
you're embarassing coz you cant swin
people change with circumstance, the dynamic of the friendship could've shifted
the new boyfriend/girlfriend could be jealous
perhaps ur just funny-looking
perhaps ur friendship was a mere illusion
maybe u have too many other fly friends and ur so-called friend dont wanna be distacted (hey, it happens)
geography
you have bad breath
communication breakdown etc.

The list can be endless. But in all honesty, we all have our 'assumptions' on what friendship entails and yet none of us formalize the terms and conditions of our friendships with our so-called friends. Then when we drift apart, both parties veer into the arena of uncertainty, assumption and eventually arkwardness. A situation EASILY remedied by simple and sincere communication.

Thus, it's a two-way thing: If ur feeling abandonded by someone, snitch(shame) on them. But if u do not communicate with them, snitch(shame) on you. Coz if that person was indeed a friend, instead of assuming the worst, come with the confidence and sincerity of a friend and diplomatically resolve it lest it reaches an irreconcilable level.

And if u tried to salvage the friendship and there was no deal, let them go, wish them well and be on with your life. Trust me, one day in their loneliness they'll remember you and be inspired by your solidarity. Nobody regrets snitchin on a snitch, but everyone regrets snitching upon a str8-4ward person.

In time past when I still had a heart and my friends consolidated acquisitions and abandoned the Captain's ship, I felt so much pain that I oathed not to follow suit. I cannot abandon my people of old, the soldiers of the struggle, fellow comrades coz I consolidated. Ha, it aint the Flex way. Best believe I can ditch acquaintences without blinking, but my loyalty is to my friends, and I dont use the word 'friend' casually.

In closing, if you're one of those who build your life around a single person, be wary of what you are doing. Be there for those who need you so that they can be there for you when u need them. If ur cool with how u go about ur affairs, all good. As long as u sleep sound at nite and wake up with relatively fresh breath. Otherwise, do your thang and lemme do my thang.

Wat a long snitch...

Capt. Gunnz

Ain't no snitch gonna Wesley Snipe me.

2006-10-31T11:36:00.000+11:00

Good day citizens... it was recently upon this fine and semi cloudy morning brought to my attention that some chick tried to Wesley Snipe me infront of you good folk . Sif i was a president worthy of assassination or something. But y'all know the motto " aint no snitch gonna Wesley Snipe me"

Anyways the Legendary Spoons had no intention of replying to the item which can be viewed on the Knight in Shining Armour snitched by Radiah below on the snitchettes section, but then when i started to question this persons friendship and piece togetha who they were, i felt it was only proper to abase myself by responding to them.

So basically the issue is; eversince the Spoons got a new boyfriend or girlfriend (the accuser didnt specify) he's ditched his old friends, and that would include some of you my dear citizens and some of my fellow contributors too. Perhaps i am a snitch, as has been so passionately expressed. Spoons is a Sneeeyaaaaaatch who sports a fake L.V handbag on weekends, and secretly owns a pair of glass slippers!!!

Now then, my accusers intentions are simple... instead of calling a dude up, or sms'ing him or sending him an email, i shall go to his blog, and shoot him down infront of his peoples... why? coz i am his friend? Correction, you aint no friend of mine, you are perhaps an acquaintence... coz friends don't go about bidness (business) like u have, if u had an issue u should have brought it up to my face (btw this is a chick thats gone and done this), instead of resorting to guerrilla tactics. So if indeed i have ditched u, i dont apologise seeing what manner of "friend" you are...

Secondly i the Spoons, recall informing my friends (esp the folks in the city) that i'm stuck out here in Bundoora for more than a minute till the 9th, when my exams will be over. So if u were my friend u would have recieved this piece of information and perhaps taken it into consideration before accusing me of ditching you. Spoons is a sneeyatch.

Thirdly, you seem somewhat shocked at the alias Two-Spoons, just how well do u know me? LOL funny girl.

So in conclusion my snitchin' "friend" perhaps i have ditched u, but in retrospect if i have, i dont regret it.... I've left ur comments undeleted for all to see, how snitchin i r. So yeh go ahead falsely Wesley Snipe infront of my peoples as if u were Wesley's stunt double, coz yeh thats the way to salvage a friendship?.... i may have a new boyfriend/girlfriend and i mite have ditched a few peoples such as yourself, but i can assure u, i aint ditched my friends... coz u r right, ditchin friends does indeed count as a major snitch.

now ain't that a snitch?

Mr. Spoons [Two-Spoons (wtf?) to you]

p.s if u wanna be given the room to say more or further defend yourself, feel free to holla, we can give u more than ample posting space.

Knight In Shining Armour

2006-10-28T18:00:00.000+10:00

In honour of my enrolment into the contributing team of this wonderful, wonderful blog, I shall snitch on the snitchettes, instead of the snitches.

In case the men don't realise, girls still dream of knights in shining armour (used to refer to impossibly "oh-my-gash" men). What's that you say? These girls still exist?? Ohhh Yes.

If you've caught on, give yourselves a pat on the back for realising something so obvious. If you haven't, I suggest you sit and read the rest of this post.

This post is entirely aimed at my fellow femme fatales who want all their eggs in one basket. I'm sorry ladies, but just in case you haven't realised it, the man you saw in that chick flick (oh you know, the really cute one who's impeccably groomed, so totally hot, with extraordinary eyes who has the gift of gab from reading the script) are few and far between. Ah, the joys of Hollywood...

Now, the sooner you realise this undeniable fact, the better the chances of that decent guy who's been eyeing you from afar (but typically has always been too shy to make a move) of having a chance with you. As Uncle Two-Spoons highlighted in an earlier post, almost every woman has at least one of these chums pursuing her. Looking for a partner of your dreams isn't wrong, but hey, you just got to give the decent guys a chance.

What I'm getting at here is, to be realistic is a blessing, and to be practical is a gift to yourself. Why am I snitching on my sex? Well, there's no answer to that... I just like to snitch actually... But I'm tired to hearing how that sweet, decent man who practically worships them gets tossed in the backburner because he's not suave enough, or witty enough, or... ah well, you get the picture.

*Knock, Knock* hello... do you live on the 3rd rock from the sun? You realise then that perfect people are nowhere to be found, yes?

Wake up and save yourself the trouble of having your dreams shattered and the imminent panic that comes afterwards when your 32nd birthday arrives and you suddenly realise a vague tick-tocking sound suddenly becoming not-so-vague. Tick...Tick...Tick...Tick...Tick...

Now, ain’t that a snitch??

~Valedico~

Real women.

2006-10-25T08:35:00.000+10:00

I, teh Spoons shall now proceed to snitch a post..

You know being a staunch member of the elite Counter Snitchin' Unit (known as the C.S.U on the streets) is quite a task; besides our lives constantly being threatened by mobs of angry sniatches and various other species of dysfunct females, we are also constantly accused (by convicted snitches of course) of hating females; but if we really hated women, do u think u we would have such a devoted ~~sni...~~ female following? Now thats some lemon and herb Nando's for thought right there...

So anyways... i thought i being Captian Spoons, the kitchen utensil, resident fly guy and leader of the Under Dogs United division of the C.S.U should take a minute or two to give a shout out to all them REAL women out there.

I'm talkin bout the endangered breed of chicks that dont drink the Haterade, the chicks that keep it real and know the value of simple sincerity and the bond of true friendship. I dunno bout u, but as one who's sexuality has come into question on many occassions simply due to the gender composition of his peoples, i have truly come to realise that theres quality women out there... and for that i'm thankful, coz u know sometimes female friends come thru in ways male friends simply cannot (yeh sniatch, try to keep ur mind out the gutter.) Just like how sometimes male friends come thru for females (security in clubs, emergency dates, panel beating ex bf's and so forth...).

Anyways i am not one to mentions names, but yeh, we see ya sincere ones, we appreciate ya.. u dont just shine, u illuminate the space.

Big Spoons signing out

Peas.

P.S Muda and Radiah: plz deposit the cash we agreed upon for this post, in my commonwealth account as opposed to my st george as we agreed, unless u r snitches...

Another Snitch Under the Sun...

2006-10-23T18:00:00.000+10:00

Now there is another Snitch that I have seen under the sun. Uncle Two Spoons will concur wholeheartedly with this...There is the snitch of them brothers who have been privileged enough to be thought of as celebrities by Donnettes such as myself, then after this great event when a young woman wears her heart on her sleeve putting her heart and emotions on the line for this gentleman she likes, and who has concured wholeheartedly that he likes the Donnette, the brother gonna pull a line like 'I need time', time for what? We all know time waits for No woman...if you're slow you're gonna miss out on a beautiful thing. Anyway, as highlighted by my counterpart Snitchette Radiah women don't have contingency plans like men, when we fall for a man, in most cases we fall hard. So we hope and hope that perhaps there is hope and we actually give the brother time...to clear his head, I dunno, now that is another Snitch altogether...Anyway, so we wait coz if you like him, perhaps he is worth the wait, coz of course you are more than worthit. After a few months you decide to bring up the subject again, just to make sure you aint waitng for Jayk..Then you get some stupid answer like 'oh I was not certain if you still felt the same', that is just a SNITCH dude how obvious does one need to be, continuous communication, this donnette still single, HOW MUCH EVIDENCE IS NEEDED..are you that daft!

Then the brother starts making silly excuses like how he aint got the same drive as you (which is probably true), he doesn't have vision like you, he doesn't have the same family background etc etc etc...excuses excuses excuses, moving from the main subject at hand. He starts highlighting his insecurities where you chose him. Now he wants you to QUALIFY him, yeish me I aint got time for you to deal with your supposed inadequacies.For me, they just equate to excuses, which I don't have time for.....

Now that my sisters is a SNITCH, a brother unable to realise a good thing when it comes. You chose him and he doesn't get it..OWAIIIIIIIi no time lah. He gives excuses about how he can't be with you etc etc. If he gonna SNITCH and can't make up his mind, he's gotta go..coz we aint got time for SNITCHES!!

Can I get a WITNESS.....

The Case of the Ex

2006-10-23T12:40:00.000+10:00

Wow! Ain't that a snitch when you are going along in your life after someone has hurt you, deep, and you are now totally healed and she tries to come back like a lost boomerang? The fact that we agreed to be friends when we broke up doesn't really give you to be the right to be my friend. It is merely a break up formality...

But you try being distant and cold in the conversations so that she gets the HINT that you really aren't that interested in even being her friend. Unfortunately that doesn't stop the texts and the phone calls from coming in! Whoa... If you miss me so much you shouldn't have snitched on a brother! If you wanted me so much shouldn't have ever let me go... Now you crying rivers like J.T..?

Now let me tell you why "exes" usually can't be friends... When we consolidate the acquisition, there is usually no prior history between us. Hence the only way you two relate to each other is as a couple... Right? So when that breaks down you can't "go back to being friends" coz you were never friends to begin with! Y'all just jumped into the deep end, head first, and that in itself is a snitch! We don't know how to relate to you as just a friend! It's just too weird... And in any case we are over you! We see no need to force things that have zero potential!

It's funny that as much as the lesson is preached no one ever gets the picture until it's too late! You don't know what you got till its gone! Move on, no I mean really... Move on. Cherish the good memories and all that stuff. Just give me a call on my birthday, only, and not everyday! Coz the real snitch of this gwan is that the ex now has a new dude in her life but still she is hollaring at me like that! Now, Ain't that a snitch...

Options...

2006-10-23T11:56:00.000+10:00

(a) Fun, smart, great sense of humour
(b) Independent, witty, fantastic body

Which to choose? Which to choose??

The two options listed above may be just a couple of the many girls in the snitch’s black book whom he hopes to land a serious relationship with… all the while, he’s seriously dating you.

Now, normally, a contingency plan is smart, just in case something goes wrong and one of the many “girls of his dreams” manages to slip away due to unforeseen circumstances. Now please tell me, is it really fair to the girl who thinks she might just be a tad in love with you? Even if she’s not, she might have been under the impression that she’s captivating enough that you don’t feel the need to have a contingency plan. But more often than not, that girl finds out that he’s been pursuing 2 other chicks (marriageable material might I add), and starts to either get really angry, or get really insecure.

Now normally, I’d be indifferent, but for all the ladies out there who feel insecure in this… Please get over it.

In the first place, this snitch is plain afraid. He’s afraid that you might slip away. But hey, if you do… no worries mate, he’s got 2 others who can replace you in a heartbeat. Secondly, this snitch is just plain greedy, methinks it probably makes him feel like a playa to have a few ladies hanging onto his coattails, either that or he just likes to bite off more than he can chew.

So please, if you feel the need to date a few ladies at a time, inform us early that you need to keep your options open (translation: I don’t want to suffer from one-woman syndrome), or just tell us that you really don’t want to limit your search of the perfect girl to one girl only (translation: maybe you’re not good enough, and the other girl was better, but I don’t want to tell you this in case I hurt your feelings). In the words of Seinfeld, “Do it like you’re ripping a band-aid off: one motion, right off!” Translation: We don’t like to be treated like idiots. Either tell us early, or forget ever having your chance with us.

Ain’t it a snitch?

Snitched by the Noble Satisfied One-Radiah

Strictly for the fellas...

2006-10-22T08:57:00.000+10:00

I thought i'd itemise this item for the gentleman that read this blog (believe it or not they're out numbered by the women).

I teh Spoons, being wise and experienced beyond my years in the realm of consolidating acquisitions thought it only right to share a lil with our well meaning fellas who have a hard time dealing with snitches and getting the women they want. The item i'm bout to share with you, should help u approach the women u want, without leaving u open for snitchery, so read on young one, lap it up like a thirsting pup, let it fill u with much needed wisdom, and leave you feeling prepared to approach even the flyest of females...

1. The 1st manoeuvre is so slick that i call it the "Assassins Wink", coz if carried out proper it may signal interest and get a response from the apple of ur eye...

So what u do is; while walking towards (preferebly in passing) that beautiful thief thats stolen your heart, step 1: u wink... step 2: hold gaze for about 5 secs... if within 5 seconds she winks back or smiles at u... u may proceed to talk to the target, say something smooth like "hey... how u doin?".

If however the underlying snitch in her comes out, and she starts scowling her face at u, we go to step 3; u blink rather frantically my brother, blink for your life and pretend that a bug's flown into your eye (u can scream at the top of ur lungs for added effect, just make sure its a macho scream). Her scowling and disgusted self will soon be put to shame when she realises she was a snitch enuff to think u were showing interest when infact u had a bug in ur eye. Snitch proof if u ask me.

2. The 2nd manoeuvre is for them brothers that generally have a good sense of timing, just make sure u perform this outdoors on a street that is likely to have cabs. Its called the "Doin' my thang, doin' my thang" manoeuvre.

So u're strolling down the street, and u see ur secret crush walking on the other side of the road, u know her and perhaps she knows u, and u want her to notice that u've noticed her and infact know her, so u wave.. if she waves back, tis the opportune time to flash that million dollar smile the charm the life out of her. If she doesnt... immediately look down the street u r on (dont stop waving) and pretend to be tryna flag down a cab. Snitch proof homie.

Another variation is if she's a church girl and u wave, and she's snitch enuff not to wave back in such an atmosphere, just play it cool brother and pretend u were getting ur praise on. This leaves the target with a "wow, brother was just doing his thing, and i thought he was after me, damn i must be a snitch" sorta feeling.

Well thats all for now, fellas... this was the basic stuff, the porridge... next time i shall feed u with the meat.

Big Spoons signing out

Words, Words and Words.

2006-10-19T04:59:00.000+10:00

I r the Spoons. kthnxbye hahhah,

Ok, so i remember a time a few years back, before me and the Don Lidzi Widzy For Sheezy ma Neezy decided to snitch these items, i sat down with someone that meant a whole lot to me at the time and schooled em in the art of detecting snitchin behaviour in men..

See what some ~~snitches~~ women don't get is that some dudes are just way too good with words, and if u let em conversate with you for more than a minute, they'll have u floating and hangin off every word as it rolls of the eloquent tongue... you know the type thats so smooth that they leave u wondering, damn where did this brother get all this practice? <--- food for thought right thurr... unfortunately most women love smoothness and then turn around and say all men are bastards, NEWSFLASH: all the men u pick are bastards, perhaps u should refine ur picking skills!! That underdog chump who stumbles thru his lines is probably more sincere than that casanova that leaves u with them "omigosh" fanning yourself hotflashes. (yeh u know the sincere chump, nearly every woman has one pursuing her)

I've always maintained that one should go with their gutt, by the time u r ready to use words like "love" and "care", and all them words that leave one vulnerable to another... best believe, if i cant already sense what u r saying, then that's a snitch. I mean seriously girl, why does some dude have to convince u he loves u? thats how u get rolled right thurr. Generally if a dude has to convince u he loves/likes u, u r getting rolled... go with ur gut, when he says it, it should only be a matter of confirmation, coz u can already sense and feel it.

Gah i shall snitch this item proper, at a diff hour of the day when i the Spoons are more awake... i shall thoroughly translates the statements we men make into simple statements for women to understand lol, such as "i care bout u so much, i feel we should take this slow" sounds familiar don't it lol

to be continued...

Half-Hearted Measures

2006-10-15T22:32:00.000+10:00

Aside from the usual snitchin, a comment was left by an 'anonymous' commenter. I feel that in all honesty such a patron's concerns need to be addressed. Her(I'm assuming its a she) comment read thus:

Anonymous said…
"ahhhh.... i feel i need to step in here okay why is it that men change their minds half way across the bridge. i mean if you were interested in a chick why not get to know her first and decide then to get into a realtionship. why is everything so rushed and then when on the bridge they then decide ohhhh... there is no chemistry . the reason we women get uptight is the man has all this love for a sister and then decides naahhhh i think not ........that is a SNITCH!"

I have to say indeed, this IS a bit of a snitch (from a female's perspective). In fact, I confess to having partook of such a scenario. I think My comrade Spoons would confess to such as was implied by his comment:

"Two-Spoons said…
this item of urs sounds like it needs a whole blog post.. i been known to withdraw if i feel someones acting coy. nonethessless u're right,,, aint that a snitch!"

So, there we have it. But it indeed is a bit of a stretch for young men tryna come thru with this species known as femalus humanus. They are indeed a perplexing species.
But pertaining to this item of half-chasing, there could be a number of possibilities. This list is not exhaustive:

Maybe u were nice from far but when he stepped he actually saw u were far from nice.
Maybe u just werent what he was looking for. (common if u met someone in a dimly lit club, under the influence of more than 0.05 and traded numbers only to meet up later in full daylight)
Perhaps u were a snitch being unable to make a plan by being evasive and elusive.
Perhaps u had a queue of 20 other guys makkin on you and he didnt wanna be one of them.
Maybe u sed something insensitive to him that caused him to vanish.
Perhaps he found someone else.
Maybe in pursuit of you, revelation came to him that he was actually gay! LOL!
Maybe he figured that he wasnt what you were looking for.
Maybe he felt he didnt measure up to what you really deserved.
Perhaps he initially wanted to snitch, found Christ, joined a church and now cant bring himself to.

But, in all honesty, shan't we investigate the measures? When u meet someone, dont you work out an agreement beforehand? Like stay friends to discover one another and peruse whether there is possibility for more? Or agree to go out to scan where there really is feasibility or not? This in no way is an endorsement for either method, nor is it deduction to there existing an exclusive method. It all hinges upon COMMUNICATION twixt the parties involved.

With that

'Lidzi Gunnz!!

Such a sniiiiiiitch~!

Men Dont Listen

2006-10-09T02:23:00.000+10:00

Yeah.... It's True!!

Men dont listen... to nonsense.

Its a young snitch when women complain saying that men dont listen. They come home with lots to talk about. Window shoppin. I mean, who wants to hear about endless hours of browsing without actually buying that product? I mean, should I be giving my full attention [married men, this is a no brainer... OF COURSE you should pay attention - I'm just saying all I can say as a single man before I have my hands tied behind my back, but I know ur thinking what I'm thinking].

But seriously...

Sometimes chics wanna talk when a man tryna concentrate on something else. Something important that needs to be done there and then. But can they wait? No... They HAVE to say it THEN. So a man goes into recording mode.. not paying full attention but recording her words for future reference whilst busying himself with the really important stuff currently at hand.

I mean, some girls cant even wait for the commercial break. Some like to talk to you when ur on the fone sorting some serious business.
Some come and interrupt you whilst ur still talking to elders or talking to ma-boy.. with no excuse me, or pardon me. And they demand attention. HA! From whom?

And you know what the real snitch is? the fact that in any relationship we have to listen to everything. One shouldnt belittle or marginalize the utterences of the other party. So, I'ma have to listen to my childrens' ramblings, the wife's chatterbox but I'll definately dodge and go fishing and/or to the cattlepost to just escape.

Eish.. aint this a snitch.

Monster Madness

2006-10-04T12:15:00.000+10:00

I shall give u ladies a second or two to glance at the picture... now i shall boldly assume we all know what that is... its a monster (for those who are either slow or have their cornrows too tight).

The snitch i wanna address today is that of the good old fashioned you-don't-like-me-therefore-you-are-a-typical-male-who-only-likes-skinny-supre-wearing-girls-therefore-you-are-a-bad-person guilt trip... phew do excuse me while i catch my breath.

So u like a guy, but he doesnt like u back? So what do u do..? u dont accept the fact that perhaps there is just no chemistry, instead ur snitchin-self takes it personal and decides to vilify the unsmitten; in effect making him out to be a monster, a heartless shallow beast that doesnt like u because it is too shallow. Who on earth told u u were the epitomy of womanhood? hmmm? answer me!

Before u attempt to pull a quick one on the Spoons, lemme warn you, aint no snitch gonna Wesley Snipe me with tactics like that...sif make a person feel bad for having choices and preferences, since when doesnt a human being have the right to decide what he or she finds appealling? And on what grounds do u have any right to make a person feel bad for not feeling u? Do they choose how they feel?

U don't see us making u out to be monsters when u say "hey lets just just be friends" (interpretation: how bout u stick around and act whipped coz it makes me feel good bout myself)... at this point gentlemen, u should respond by saying "No, I have lots of friends. See you later."

coz we dont love these snitches

Two Spoons.

Return of the Sisterhood..!!

2006-10-02T17:40:00.000+10:00

After so many snitches about the Sisterhood I have decided to Hit the Brotherhood upstyle with some of their 'Snitchin Behaviour'...

Aint it a Snitch how some guys are sooo overprotective kinda brothers...they wanna know where you’ve been, who you’ve been with, why you didn’t answer their calls…Eish sometimes a sister just wants a break from a brother.

Aint it a Snitch how when the guy is into you, he won’t tell you coz he’s too shy..Paleese that is sooooooooo lame, or the fact that he aint ready for commitment at this point in time but ‘we’ll see what happens in the future’, love waits for no woman mann, that clock surely is ticking if you can’t make up your mind, loss you..but the brotherhood all know that when they see that chick that they really liked after a while, all those feelings start coming back..SNITCH right back at YA, but its too late, she soo over you now!!
Don’t it always seem to go...that you dunno what you got till it’s gone!

Aint it a Snitch how when you ask a brother where he’s been it seems like some grand inquisition and he takes Forever to answer the question but when he asks you to answer a question you’re supposed to ANSWER the question without giving a story to it…some serious Snitchin behaviour!!

Aint it a Snitch how the brotherhood don’t like to ADMIT that they are lost when they are, and make it seem like the sisterhoods directions are inadequate and do not require recognition, mann that’s a snitch.

Aint it a Snitch how when you ask them soul brothers if your fat, they tell you ‘oh baby I love you just the way you are, YEAH Right, they just don’t know which would be the right answer so instead they LIE!! Mann that’s a SNITCH!! Also, at the same time they will be drooling of Hollywood stars like Eva Longoria, Halle Berry, Eva Mendes…the list goes on and say how those are ‘the perfect women’, my GASH, don’t you just hate that!!

Aint it a Snitch how them soul brothers are just PLAYERS….then when they have expedited all the expeditions possible they wanna look for a ‘Good Woman’. I’ll tell you now we aint waiting for such, we want some real brothers now, ones that exemplify a REAL MANN!!

Aint it A SNITCH…..!!

Another eviil...

2006-09-26T12:58:00.000+10:00

Another evil i have seen under the sun, is that of the woman who is so needy that she saps you of life (excuse me :sisterhood" as i continue to delve deeper into this issue), perhaps this one is more a psychological problem than voluntary snitchin behaviour...

You know the type that thinks u will complete them, the type that thinks u will be the solution to all their problems and their issues, the type who usually threaten you with suicide if u so much as flirt with the thought of leaving 'em. (Spoons aint no knight in shining armour.)

This type of "snitch" (snitch here is used in the context of not an informant but of a dysfunct female) will leech you of life. She doesnt want your money, she doesnt want your big shoes, nor your cool mobile phone, she wants you and your time, ALL YOUR TIME,s he wants you to negate all her insecurities every 2 seconds of everday. That means no room to catch breath, no space to stretch a limb, yes she is needy and you my unfortunate friend are the air she breathes... welcome to the world of obsessive behaviour.

For the longest time i tried to figure out what manner of charm it was The Spoons possessed that drew such snitches, but in recent times (perhaps due to old age kicking in) i have come to see is it as a much deeper issue, rooted in an involuntary snitches past....

See some chicks are just not used to being treated nice(a rather bland word if i do say so myself), and so random dude comes along, and is nice, courteous, and has possesses a bit of that rare element we call character and treats her how she should be treated, and what? she confuses the joy of being treated well with love (that illusive property we all chase but few find) and what? she starts feelin all warm and fuzzy inside... she's seeing cupids.... hearing melodious tunes being strummed on harps by multitudes of angels... and next thing u know she's acting all needy... meh

Even thinkin bout it saps me of the energy ; i'm out...

Amnesia

2006-09-23T21:20:00.000+10:00

Ha ha ha ha!! Let me Laff 1st!!!

Nna, I'm laffin coz this was a snitch that cut deep.. Imagine.. Ur Señorita.. It's all good then one day she decides what, that she's forgotten who the hell u are.. Snitch!

Like she had some Amnesia or something. Then she treats u cold like some stranger in Moscow, no longer feeling the kid like MJ.. LOL (Tjeezy's line).

Bros, when this happens to u, please understand that its over.. You ask her what's wrong and she tunes nothing. Like she dont open up to u, you talk to her on the fone and she be all cold and semi-solemn.. but then when someone on the other end talks to her she be laffing and all but soon as she's back to u, it's like someone died. Snitch!

Aaaaa, And u try ur best to be a good man, all them books u read about being patient and women and their wave-like emotional behaviour.. Then u decide that that item is just nonsense.. If she's havin a bad day then she should treat erryone cold, not just me.. Voetsek.. she just be snitchin right thurr.. How can the one u love allovasudden treat u like a stranger, like she dont know you? And turn on u in an instant? There are some things I can tolerate, but some things I cant stand for. I have to sit down. LOL. But on the real, just be real.. If u wanna lorse someone, just tune them.. str8 up.. Me, particularly, I aint the one to be wasting time and money playing break up games.. I hate asking "what's the matter?" more than once tryna draw the truth outta a chiqua that wants to lorse me..That's just nonsense. If u wanna go, just tune me and cut.. I'll try my luck once again!! And I'm surprised these chiquas are the ones who wanna drag a breakup longa than need be.. It's their clocks which are ticking like 24.. Us owns.. ha ha, we NEVER expire!! *eish, standing infront of a firing squad of angry women with that statement*

Best believe, if someone gonna itemize me like dat Amnesia item, I be like Beenieman and just Let Her Go!! But there aint no coming back in my world.. My streets are one way.. U cant even u turn or reverse.. They dont call it the "Straight and Narrow" for nothing.

'Lidzi Gunnz with a Vengeance

Romeo lives...

2006-09-23T18:02:00.000+10:00

Perhaps with all the snitchin thats been going on, I and the Don, have come to be heavily misconstrued. A few somewhat concerned parties have come to ask what warrants such heavy attacks on the "Sisterhood" as they so call it.

I, Spoons; the champion of all that is true and just shall clarify. This Romeo who must die, lives inspite of the snitchin'... i have never for a second doubted that there exists quality women out there, i know coz in my 63 and a half years on this planet i've had the pleasure of callin two such fine female specimens my muffin-avacados and sweet potato pie fritters (if such things exist).

This blog doesn't take a swipe at women in general, infact we at www.snitchin.blogspot.com love women *grins*, but we do however hate ~~you~~ snitches and ~~your~~ snitchin' behaviour (which sometimes, mind you comes from quality chicks), if u wanna say u've never snitched, then you're being a snitch.. no really i mean it, you're a snitch. Even the flawless Two, has snitched on a chick or two before *gasp*.

So then instead of snitchin, about our snitchin and becoming snitches in the process of trying to avoid being a snitch, leave ur pride at the door, come on in, read up, have a chortle or two and feel free to let us know of how u been snitched on.

Big Spoons signing out.

Holding Hands

2006-09-22T22:21:00.000+10:00

Eish, this one is a big snitch for me... Aint it just a snitch when ur walking down the road holding hands with your girl cool cool, enjoying life, then allovasudden she pulls it away from you?!? A! And that car passes u guys *zooom* and then she wants to hold ur hand again??? What a snitch..

You then proceed to ask her, "And then? What was that about?" "Aaa, no, that was just my uncle." "So?" "So I didnt want him to see me holding boys hands."

Ija!! What? Would he have prefered that u were holding a girl's hand? I mean, the fact that ur smiling and walking down the street with a guy, ppl are gonna assume anyways, so why keep them guessin and show them that IS ur boyfriend. Or what, are there things u wanna hide? Are u not sure whether u wanna be with him or not? Are u embarassed of ur dude? Snitch, coz if a chic is embarassed of me, she can hit the road with the biggest sjambok!! Voetsek!

I mean, if u cant hold my hand up in the public, dont even bother tryna hold it in dark corners.. Unless he's equally embarassed of u. HA HA! Now that would be great! LOL.

But the bottom line is, why would u bother consolidating a relationship if ur still embarassed/shy of ur dude in the public? Damn, I tune u, with me, if u dont know the quality man that I am and ur ashamed of me, u've just hit the self-destruct button, and there's no reverse for that. It's Over.. just a matta of time, but it's over. Aint that a snitch?

Ha ha

'Lidzi Gunnz, having fun with some New Zeal in the Land!!

Ain't this a snitch.

2006-09-22T12:26:00.000+10:00

Ain't this a snitch...

They say a person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a ~~HUSBAND~~ WHIPPED.!

I mean seriously you ever had a friend who'd been with you ~~to broke back mountain and back~~ through thick and thin; a friend so close to you that at times you felt you were Batman and Robin, only for him to flip the script on you for some chicken head??

Like seriously nothing is more annoying than a controlling woman... you know the type that dont see u for who you are, but see you for what they think they can make you into. She doesnt wanna date you and get to know you, she wants to turn you into her lil project, rappin like "omigosh you look like Dr. Dre" *gasping for breath as she speaks, now some brothers think thats a compliment, but if u're a dark skinned brother like me and fall for that jazz thats just plain dumb!!!

You ain't gonna Wesley Snipe me with weak lines like that, the next time i'll be like "omigosh you look like this piece of chewing gum i stepped on the other day" *gasping for breath as i speak too*

I seen even the smartest and toughest of dudes get turned into female accessories and tools; grown men turning into chauffeurs, handbag holders, clothe racks, atm machines and so forth.

I guess some dudes like that, but chick u better think twice bout pulling any of those antics on The Spoons, coz the 1st Spoon will Rick James you and the 2nd Spoon will drop you so quick you'd think i'd been hangin out with Snoop Dogg and Pharrel.

You might snitch me once...

Two-Spoons

You'll find her one day

2006-09-20T23:37:00.000+10:00

'Tjidzi, aint it jus a snitch when a chic is bouncing a guy and she tunes, "One Day you'll find the one girl for you."

Dammmmn bra!! Does she really think that's what a guy is trying to hear at that point in time?? Hm, a lil hope, a lil encouragement after just rippin his heart out?!? Like that's what a guy wants to hear? I mean, u still reeling from a bounce and then what? I mean, it's like forcing an own to chew chillis and then coz u feeling sorry ur feeding him chillis, you try giving him a slice of cucumber. It just dont work like dat!

I mean, give him his bounce, and let him go away with his dignity and recoup in peace. What?!?! He wanted YOU and u bounced him and ur tuning him about some stranger u and him never met? That's the last thing he wants to think of, in love with you he dont wanna be thinking of other women. Just bounce him and let him go and get over you.

Monna, eiiiish.. and there are chics that wanna bounce you but keep u close just for their self-esteem. But that's a whole other snitchette in itself!!

Please, please dont tell a dude he'll find the one someday!! He knows he will. You telling him will just impede his recovery....

Ha ha, with that I'm out

Formerly Snitched!

'Lidzi Gunnz

We're Here.. Ur not Safe

2006-09-20T10:04:00.000+10:00

Ha ha. So all you girls thought we'd just keep silent?! Ha ha.. You aint safe. Coz those items that are a bit of a snitch that u pull on us guys, this is where we'll spill it. Heh heh. It's our turn now!!